It's a mammoth city. Some parts are lovely little allies of street food and stalls, and others there are massive skyscrapers and shopping malls. Oh and there are 6 million motorbikes. So about every other person has a bike. This brings mental to a whole new level. I felt like I was playing human frogger but as I kissed my St Christopher and crossed the street I actually felt like I was parting water.
Literally the only way to make it from one side of the street to the next is to step out confidently and keep walking. DO NOT STOP! As I walked, I could feel the bikes whizzing all around me, missing me by mere millimetres. And every time I got to the other side, I laughed in disbelief and wanted to hug the nearest person, ecstatic to be alive for one more day!
In the three days I stayed here we went to the war remnants museum which was once again very depressing. It goes without saying but Vietnam doesn't really view America with high regard. Though the museum didn't shy away from the atrocities of the war it was very one sided, against the US of course. Feeling pretty morose and deflated, we found comfort in an ABC Bakery which specialised in incredible pastries and doughnuts. In the evening we chilled out on plastic chairs drinking 30p draught Saigon Beer. Nice!
On day two we did a half day tour to the Cu Chi tunnels, the underground system used by the Vietcong during the war. On the way there we stopped off at a craft shop where disable victims affected by agent orange were making THE MOST incredible paintings, mosaics, carvings and furniture. Seriously, I'm a sucker for craftsmanship and south east Asia is going to bankrupt me. Damnit. Now the tunnels themselves were really bloody impressive. 'Mickey', our rather entertaining Vietnamese tour guide, gathered us around a circle and asked us to find the entrance to a tunnel system. We were stumped. He brushed aside some dirt and leaves to reveal a tiny trap door, no more than 16 inches long by 12 inches in width. Whaaaaaaat. I contorted my body so that I could descend into the hole and then I crawled some 20 meters on hands and knees in complete darkness along the passage way. I could feel that the tunnel was maybe an inch above my head and 2 inches either side of me.
This is a claustrophobics hell. From there Mickey showed us the various metal as bamboo traps used and the ventilation systems. In total this tunnels spanned over 450 km, from the end of the Saigon river and past the Cambodian border. At the end we we able to crawl through a 120 meter long tunnel, again on hands and knees, sweating my balls off along yr way. It was fun though, very very fun. Apparently I'd make make a good Vietcong. Not sure if that's a compliment or not...
Mickey also revealed to us the reason Asian people have much smaller eyes than westerners is because they eat so much rice and potato and carby foods that when they do #2 they're constantly whining and squinting.... Though amusing, I'm pretty sure that ticks some sort of un-PC / racism somewhere.... Ha.
When not getting my history lessons, I ventured into the central market. Again, hundreds of people selling the same same but exactly the same stuff. These sellers are much different than previous ones I've encountered. They will literally grab you by the arm and drag you into their shop. This doesn't fly with me. Don't touch me...I don't want to buy your tshirt.... On the occasion that I did see a tshirt I liked, I asked if they had a particular colour and size and after 5 minutes of them frantically searching they were unsuccessful. Politely and kindly I thanked them and started to leave. At which point they turned into horrible aggressive and shoo-ing people. They actually got angry and told me to go away and that I was crazy! I was stunned. This happens twice. I may or may not have quipped back with something equally sharp tongued.... Having worked in retail, there were many moments when I've also wanted to punch the customer or tell them where to go but I'd never actually do it! After speaking to a local, apparently to make as if you're going to buy something and then not is to bring bad luck to their stall. Makes sense but come on, I ain't going to buy a small pink shirt when I want navy medium. Duh. As sexy as I'm sure that would look however.
Last night we got out our 'nicest' clothes I dusted off my very over-worn Toms, and we went to the AB Skybar, some 46 floors higher towering the crazy city below. We went for happy hour cocktails (still bloody pricey), sipped out drinks and admired the surrounding views. Oh how the other Hal live. I felt like a celebrity! (In backpackers clothes...). It was insanely awesome.
Tonight, and right now in fact, I am riding on THE MOST amazing sleeper bus, heading to Nha Trang. If Emirates did buses, they would be like this. AC, a blanket, my own plush leather recliner my own tv screen...sa-weet!
Anyways, I hope all you are doing well, wherever you are. I miss you all tons. Be safe and be good. And until next time, much love! X
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