45 hot, sweaty, and death defying minutes later I arrived at the Grand Palace the obligatory 'must see' temple located at the edge of the Chaopraya river. I'm not really one for museums or art galleries or things like that, I see something nice and interesting and think yep looks nice, next, yeah nice picture, nex. I like to call this the Facebook effect of 'liking' then clicking forward to the next briefly interesting thing. With that in mind I wasn't prepared to pay 500 baht to see a lot of temples when I could go to Wat Pho across the street which, to me, was equally beautiful and all things ornately captivating. And at 100 baht I was sold. It is within these sacred walls that my buddy George made his debut to the country and he quickly became a popular and novel character, brining a smile to many a tourist, temple guard, passing monk and the like. Despite my perceived ignorance for national landmarks and museums etc, this place was truly beautiful. The colours, the peacefulness, the smells - all incredible.
A good few hours later it was time to consume my first authentic phat thai which happened to be directly across from the temple. What a surreal moment. However this moment of wonder and awe quickly vanished as I saw this rotund white man westerner (no doubt English) walk across the street toward me in only his speedos and flip flops. Seriously?! ITS NOT ACCEPTABLE! IN ANY COUNTRY! Save it for the beach. And even then, wear some shorts. You're not Daniel Craig.
From the sights and sounds of the temples to the markets and gold of China town. Chinese markets. Wow. Having heard about the weird and wonderful food stalls, today I actually lived them. The smells, oh my god the smells! Just incredible. I can't even begin to describe the heady aroma of thousands of types of fresh tea, cured fish (of many varieties, most indiscernible), whole roasted ducks (bills included) and much more. There was something that I can only describe looked like the willy of some poor creature. Thousands of lobbed off knobs just there to be waiting to be turned into a broth or something. Somewhere out there are loads of emasculated animals. Poor buggers. Or perhaps they were the remains of many a post-op lady boy. Oh and shark fin. Genuine shark fin. Mental. Ill be going back for sure. Not for the gastronomic genitalia but definitely for the tea. Did I mention the smells?! If only cameras could capture the smells of Thailand.
The evening consisted of a massive club crawl started off with the old classic game of ring of fire / circle of death. Penalties were to drink from the infamous bucket. Our crawl took us to khao san road which I suppose is like a more exotic malia or magaluf except instead of kababs, there were barbecued scorpions on a stick...and yes I did try one. Surprisingly nice, very crunchy though I was picking out bits of scorpion from my teeth the rest of the night. It all gets a bit hazy after that as a result of buckets, strong Chang and apple shisha.
Before embarking on my first tuk tuk ride where I feared for my dear life, I encountered my first lady boy. You know what, they're remarkably attractive! Pretty much passable as a genuine female save for the definition in there arms which were a bit of a give away (other than the obvious business downstairs). This is not to say that I accepted their advances. Just to clarify. But wow, good work on the old face and boob area! Sharon Osbourne or perhaps stalone's mum should come here for touch ups!
Anyway, this morning (following day) I have been picked up by the organiser for my school placement in the local village of Ang Thong and relocated to a very swanky hotel across town. Not quite 'roughing it' back-backed style but I'm not bloody complaining. I'm currently sitting here in the lobby awaiting to meet the rest of the volunteers for the first time and then it's off to Patpong. Yes, you've correctly assumed, for ping pong delights... Stay tuned for next post. It's likely to be more towards the blue shade of discussions!
Sawatdee krap!
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