Sawatdee krap, sabai dee mai?!
(Hello, how are you?)
So it has been a couple of days since my last post and in a city that quite literally never sleeps, I have a lot of updates! Let's start off with my adventures of Patpong. In the daytime, Patpong is a thriving hub of food markets and keen and charismatic street vendors. By night, on the other hand, the area is certainly not one for the timid as the vendors bring out their finest exotic toys and souvenirs (to be polite), weapons big and small (actually saw a man try out a tazer), and lets not forget, the real reason for venturing into this market - the shows.
Initially not particularly interested in going to one of these infamous shows, after a discussion with some friendly backpackers I thought 'well when in Rome'. And when in Bangkokian Rome there are many 'talented' ladies. I mean really, wow, their parents must be chuffed. All I'm going to say is this (for those more prudish reading this), 1) that's one way to consume a banana; 2) what amazing penmanship some of them had (considerably better than my own HAND writing); 3) that's one way to blow out some birthday candles; 4) wow...how long actually is that ribbon?! And lastly; 5) at least pretend you're happy about the career you've chosen! Seriously, YOU'RE making ME depressed. After finishing our complementary beer, we made a swift exit and took a tuk tuk home, all present company in stunned silence, silently recounting the evenings events now burned into our hopefully short term memory. Wow. Anatomy. Weird.
So next day, the beginning of my much anticipated Meaningful Thailand Experience tour! The day began with an intensive Thai language school where George made his appearance and oddly was considered as one of the students so when 'he' was asked a question, I had to reply on his behalf, obviously - you know being a stuffed teddy and all. His company was thoroughly welcomed and enjoyed and the lesson was a steep learning curve but I can now successfully ward off (and count) street vendors, pimps, and tell you that I'm tired. Great success! Afterwards we (me, the 3 other volunteers, and our little whippet of a tour guide) retraced the steps I had previously taken around the city on day one which wasn't a problem because I just tuned out and practiced counting to ten in Thai. I tuned back in when we explored another temple, Wat Arun, which provided us with a stunning view of the surrounding city and river (obtained through climbing the largest and most vertical steps ever...might as well have been a ladder). After another day of sweating bullets, we retreated to our swanky hotel pool and then nipped out for a quick dinner of pork dumplings and noodles, strawberry fanta (the dogs bollocks might I add), and a black Christmas tree (puff pastry coated in chocolate in the shape of said tree) all in all costing me about 50 baht, one of the queens finest quids. Get in.
Day 2 of the MTE began at 6:15am where we were then treated to the sights, sounds, smells, and hard sells of the floating markets and the famous train market. Seriously this was certainly a spectacle. A densely packed row of face to face popup vendors straddling a train track. One minute you can't move for people navigating their way through the maze of natives savagely hacking up ducks, frogs, fish and flogging bags of saffron and bullet chillies (oh as an aside, definitely ate too many of these yesterday which resulted in an fiery departure...) and the next minute you hear the steady bell of the approaching train and seconds later the goods are shifted a couple of in inches away from the track and the train passes by. No word of a lie, I could have stuck my tongue out and licked the length of the train. And then the chaos returned! Mental!
On our way to Ang Thong we passed fields upon fields of water where they harvested the countries cooking salt straight from the nearby sea, a site producing palm sugar (and by site I mean a string of locals with crude tools and slow processes of boiling water) and then a site containing artisan carpenters carving the most intricate furniture, pictures, giant Buddhas and elephants nd even portraits. Mind blowing. Our penultimate stop was 'Tesco Lotus' to pil up supplies for our home stay and lunch. A tesco...in the most remote part of Thailand and strangely enough it was identical. Just much cheaper.
At last we arrived at our home stay in Ang Thong - a true, grassroots, no frills, live off the land village. Now THIS is Thailand. We were greeted by the village elders who were slicing the freshest and sweetest mangos, freshly plucked from their garden. I was instantly offered to help make a local dessert of soy bean pounded with coconut milk, shaped like gnocchi, dredged in fresh duck egg yolks then boiled in a palm sugar syrup until hot, sticky and slightly crispy....being a massive foody, I was sold. To top it off, I then helped to make traditional sweet coconut sticky rice served with fresh mango. Heaven. My evening has finished with trip down the road to their temple for prayer with all of the local families (80 people tops) ending with a meditative walk around the temple with candle incense and lotus flowers in hand. Beautiful.
Now before I sign off this rather lengthy post, just a small anecdote about the shower. Being that this is a remote village with only the bare essentials (necessities- and cue song) (although the house does have wifi but that's the most advanced it gets - besides the point), the shower is something to be discussed. It consists solely of a tiled room with a rubbish bin in the corner, topped up with a hose attached if necessary, and a plastic bowl to throw the fresh water over yourself as you nervously watch the spiders and lizards and other bugs crawling inches above your head. I dropped the soap. While most would make a prison-cell related joke here, what I feared was not a burley tattood man by the name of Hank or Bear eyeing up his window of opportunity (no jokes please), but any one of Noah's greatest and smallest creatures finding and unexplored refuge. I can only think of Karl Pilkington at this moment in time. Surreal situation and even more surreal day. Like jumping into a hot and cold pool of customs and cultures at complete opposite ends of the societal norms.
First day at school tomorrow. Can't wait.
